You read that right.

Lately I’ve been trying to find some balance.  I struggle with where I am in my life and it’s in these moments that I am forced to visit my past and realize that everything I have now I never believed I would.

When I left everything that I knew and went back to school I was 40 years old. I’d left my marriage of 20 years and had just mourned watching a company that I had spent most of my adult life building deteriorate into ruins during a crippling divorce.  I do not tell you this for sympathy.  Only to relay sacrifice.  Why?  So glad you asked…

I left everything behind with a singular intent.  To be happy.  That’s it.  I felt at the time that going back to school and pursuing a passion of mine, resistance training, would bring that resolve.  And being me, I was all in.  Wherer my journey began was at Okanagan College in 2009.  (Insert huge props to my girl Ashley Schipholt who convinced me to do so.)  In that time my mentors and now good friends, Wendy Wheeler, and Greg DuManoir sparked a fire to go further.  Not just for Exercise Physiology.  To to be happy.

But let me perfectly clear.  This was a cognizant choice.  I wanted more.  And for the first time in my life I believed that I deserved it.  Did it come at a price?  You have no idea…

I recently watched a video from the Huffington Post on how we perceive failure.  Jay Shetty relays a story about a woman that approaches Picasso and asks him to draw her portrait.  He does so and hands it back to her and says, “That’ll cost you $30,000.”.  To which she replied, “But Picasso it took you 30 seconds to draw it.”  To which he replies, “It took me 30 years to be able to do that in 30 seconds.”

There is a significant price attached to chasing your dreams.  And not all of it is pretty.  Not even close.  But let me be clear.  The choices you make every single day determine when and if you will ever realize them.

“But…”

There it is.

I know.  I know that you have conflicting responsibilities.   I know that deep down you think it’s ‘selfish’ to want more than what you have.  But if you are not happy; if you’re not where you want to be…

“You are so lucky to be able to do what you do.”

I left my marriage.

My home.

My family.

Walked away with no material belongings.

I fought for two years to get funding to attend college to procure my Human Kinetics Diploma.

Went to UBCO for three years post to obtain my BHK.

Worked three jobs to get through it all at any given time.

Suffered from anxiety and depression at more than one interval and almost gave  up.

(Thank you Wendy Wheeler for never giving up on me.)

So no.  Luck had nothing to do with it.

Hate your job?  Stuck in an unhealthy relationship?  Want to start a new exercise program?  Change your nutrition?

Nothing worth having comes easy, so ask yourself…

“How big is my but?”

Happy weekend y’all.  Get after it.

Roberta J Gizen BHK, CPT, PN1